You may have heard that you need to leave your emotions at the door when you are negotiating, but don’t be fooled. Emotions can and do have a powerful effect on your thinking and behaviors during a negotiation, which is why it is important to maintain a positive attitude. Successful negotiation requires positive energy. The attitude in which you enter a negotiation plays an important role in determining the outcome of the negotiation, and positive energy increases your confidence and creates more positive results. After all, your disposition is your choice. Some people freeze in the winter while others ski. In the end it’s all about attitude and a positive attitude will undoubtedly lead to more successful negotiations. 

The Benefits of Positivity

A positive attitude is a mental state that expects the best to happen. When you believe things will turn out well, they usually do. Here are a few other benefits if positive attitudes:

Positivity allows for constructive thinking. 

A positive attitude enables you to think outside the box and come up with different solutions because you believe you can find them. Not only do you think things will work out well, but you actively seek out constructive ways to execute your solutions. 

Positive thinking leads to creativity. 

Ideal solutions are not always easy to find but for those who are positive, they aren’t afraid to try new things and look for unique solutions. 

Positivity equates to confidence.

A negotiator with a positive attitude is less likely to make mistakes because they feel empowered. Negativity, on the other hand, narrows one’s focus and tends to fog their ability to make sound decisions. 

How to Develop a Positive Attitude

Before a negotiation begins, you should focus on getting your mind positively charged. You can do this by going over the negotiation in your mind and thinking about positive outcomes. Pay close attention to what thoughts are entering your mind and stand guard against negative thinking. 

In addition to your mind, you want to physically take charge of your body by eating a healthy meal before negotiating, practicing some relaxation and breathing techniques, and wearing a smile to trigger positive emotions. It never hurts to laugh a little too! Having a positive attitude is so important because it can create more positive results. In the end, attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. 

In today’s complex and competitive world, it’s more important than ever to develop superior negotiation skills that foster strong relationships. Parties may not always reach their desired outcomes, but successful negotiations involve the same basic principles: preparation, persistence, and patience. No matter what industry you’re in, the ability to negotiate effectively is one of the most valuable skills, and it begins with these three principles.

Preparation

Negotiations begin well before you sit down at the table. The difference between a successful and unsuccessful negotiation often lies in the quality of the parties’ preparation. Negotiators often fail to adequately prepare for their discussion, and therefore fail to reach an agreement. During the preparation period, it’s essential to understand the fundamentals of why you are negotiating and what is motivating you and your counterpart. Consider key objectives and priorities for both sides as well as any weaknesses that you hope to improve. You also want to be informed about all parties involved.

The more you know about all sides of the negotiation, the better your chances of finding a good solution. Finally, keep your eye on the prize and know exactly what you hope to gain and how you plan to achieve it. Prepare possible concessions ahead of time, plan for what the other party might say, and determine your BATNA. Over 80% of a negotiation’s outcome is determined in the pre-negotiation phase, highlighting the importance of being properly prepared.

Persistence

Most children are not trained negotiators, yet they often manage to get what they want. Why? Children have a unique ability to persist. They ask you the same questions over and over and in different ways until they break you down and finally get what they want. This same principle can be applied to negotiating. Negotiators who are persistent have the ability to move the needle in their direction because they simply don’t give up. They realize that just because someone says “no” it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the end of the conversation.

Persistence starts with believing in what you are selling and sharing this enthusiasm with the other party. Speak positive truths and continuously remind yourself and the other party why your product or service is valuable. Ultimately, the ability to persist can lead to long-term success!

Patience

We have all been told at some point to be a little more patient. As it turns out, patience is a key element to a successful negotiation. Patience equals time, and more time may lead to better negotiation outcomes. It takes time to understand what is being offered and the risks that might be involved. With time, you can determine those strengths and weaknesses and make a more informed decision. Patience accomplishes a number of things:

• Gather more information
• Lowers the other party’s expectations
• Leads to concessions
• Allows for realistic assessment 

With patience, all parties can take time to resolve their differences and overcome any obstacles. 

Negotiations can get tense, especially when the stakes are high. Every negotiation can test your patience and your resilience to stay calm. That’s because negotiations often involve intense discussions and difficult conversations, and if you get caught up in your personal needs and goals, it’s easy to get emotional. So, how can you remain calm and focused when things heat up? Consider the following tips for staying poised even during the most stressful negotiations. 

Talk Less, Listen More

While you may have a clear idea of what you hope you to gain from the negotiation, your focus needs to be on more than yourself. Active listening is one of the best ways to have a positive impact on future negotiations. Skillful listening is a great way to calm tensions, resolve conflict, and gather valuable information that will lead to successful deals. 

Build Rapport

When you sit down at the table, don’t just get right into the details of the deal. Instead, connect with the person to create a sense of emotional security. Make small talk and find common ground. Perhaps you share a hobby or interest, you cheer for the same sports team, you grew up in the same neighborhood, or you might know a few of the same people. Look for common ground and spend a few minutes getting to know each other. This will set the tone for a friendlier conversation and when you have a rapport with each other, you’re less likely to get defensive. 

Ignore Threats and Express Empathy

If for some reason the other party begins making implicit threats during the conversation, do not react negatively. Instead, listen intently because they are probably speaking out of fear. Rather than get defensive, empathize with them by saying something like, “You must really be feeling a lot of pressure right now.” By showing empathy, you avoid tension and you give them a reason to de-escalate their demands. 

Take Breaks if Needed

There may be times when you simply need to step away and “take 5.” After discussing for a length of time, your brain might need some rest. Suggest a short break to cool things off and take the time to leave the room, get some fresh air, and gather your thoughts. 

End on a Positive Note

Even if things got heated, remember to always circle back to the progress that was made. Summarize what you agreed on, thank them for their time, and end with a little small talk. Remember you might need to interact with them again in the future and ending things positively will set the tone for future negotiations. 

Negotiation is a form of two-way communication that is supposed to help the involved parties get something they want. It involves two parties seeking to resolve their conflicts and modify their demands in order to reach a mutually acceptable solution. There are two ways this can be achieved: distributive and integrative bargaining. Simply put, distributive bargaining results with one party winning and the other party losing, whereas integrative bargaining can be described as a negotiation in which the two parties work together to find a solution that benefits them both. While both are common forms of negotiation, it is important to note the difference between these approaches so you can decide which strategy works best for you. 

Distributive Bargaining

When both parties seek to maximize their own benefit from a transaction, it is considered distributive bargaining. For example, when you go to buy a car and you try to negotiate the lowest price while the seller tries to get as much as possible, you are both trying to protect your own interest in order to maximize your outcome. Here, what one party loses the other party will gain. Also known as a win-lose negotiation, distributive bargaining is a competitive strategy in which one party comes out ahead and the other one loses. 

Integrative Bargaining

Integrative bargaining happens when both parties put forth their interests and seek a solution that will be mutually beneficial. Here, both parties gain something. For example, when you go to buy a house the seller might be asking $390K whereas your maximum offer is $360. You both compromise and settle on $375k, creating a mutual gain for both parties. This is a collaborative negotiation strategy in which the involved parties seek a win-win solution. 

Key Differences Between Distributive and Integrative Bargaining

• Distributive bargaining is a competitive strategy whereas integrative bargaining is collaborative. 
• Distributive bargaining ends with a winner and a loser while integrative bargaining ends with mutual winners. 
• Distributive bargaining is motivated by self-interest and personal gain whereas integrative bargaining is motivated by mutual interests and gain. 
• Distributive bargaining does not put much emphasis on the relationship between the two parties while integrative bargaining makes the relationship a high priority. 

Our ability to show empathy is what helps us forge meaningful relationships with others, but did you know that empathy can also impact the decision making process? The truth is, empathy can actually impact the motives of those around you and the art of negotiation often relies on an approach known as tactical empathy. Therefore, we can apply basic psychology to learn how to be strategically empathetic during the negotiation process in order to achieve our desired outcome. 

What is Tactical Empathy?

Tactical empathy is an approach centered around deeply listening and connecting with your counterpart rather than aggressively disagreeing with them or trying to persuade them. Though there is a time and a place to play hardball, many successful negotiators prefer a more collaborative approach that incorporates thoughtfulness and empathy. When you build trust with your counterpart, you can then use this trusting relationship to secure deals. 

How Empathy Can Be Used in Negotiations

Tactical empathy consists of several different negotiation strategies, all of which are intended to build trusting relationships and give your counterpart the illusion that they are in control. After all, successful negotiations happen where there is simply the perception of mutual gains. The purpose of tactical empathy is to work toward what appears to be a win-win outcome for both parties. Here are some ways to employ tactical empathy during negotiations. 

Demonstrate that you are acting in good faith. The idea is to show the other party that you seek a solution that will benefit them. You are not there to exploit or deceive them, but rather to help them. 

Show a genuine interest in the other party. Take time to find out what is driving the other party. What are their goals, objectives, motivations, and fears? Actively listen to them and seek to understand their perspective. This helps to build an authentic connection which will ultimately lead to a better outcome for both parties. 

Work to dispel negative feelings. Try to diffuse any feelings of anger, mistrust, suspicion, or fear. Talk to the other party about their feelings and find out why they might be experiencing negative emotions. Then, work to deactivate those emotions by building reassurance and trust. 

Aim for positive emotions. Look for ways to appeal to your counterpart’s emotions and build mutual understanding. Try to be a source of comfort and build a rapport so you can both work together to reach your goals. 

Negotiation is often thought of as a very serious discussion and is probably the last place you would expect to find laughter. However, humor can be an excellent negotiating tool because it helps to establish and strengthen relationships between partners. When tensions are high and negotiations become deadlocked, a simple joke can ease tensions and create a bond among all parties involved, eventually leading to a deal. Whether you are negotiating a pay raise, a million dollar deal, or simply where to go for dinner, humor can play a significant role in your success. 

According to recent studies, humor has numerous benefits in the negotiation process. It can put the involved parties at ease; it can introduce a difficult issue; it can foster teamwork and bonding; it can even help people cooperate amidst disagreements. If you can inject humor into your negotiations, you are more likely to set the tone for a smoother conversation. For example, imagine you have proposed a deal and the tension began rising as the other party asked, “What is this going to cost me?” You pause and respond, “Are you sitting down?” The other person might laugh and the tension is reduced right away. This tactic can be extremely effective for closing deals. 

When you are negotiating, look for opportunities to weave in a little humor- perhaps a funny story or anecdote or even a funny gesture. Negotiations are often serious and intense so humor can be a great way to lighten the mood. When we relax the atmosphere with a few innocent jokes, you are able to put people at ease. In turn, they can think more objectively and make better decisions. Be cautious, however, and choose your words carefully. You want to be sure your humor is always used professionally, so avoid sharp jabs or inappropriate jokes. When used appropriately, humor can not only relax the atmosphere, but it can help you break a deadlock. Self-deprecating humor can be especially effective for this. An occasional joke about yourself can create an environment of collaboration and helps to increase your likability. So, the next time you find yourself in the midst of tense negotiations, consider lightening the mood a little with humor. 

The word “no” is one of the most dreaded words for any salesperson. After all, when you are trying to close that last deal of the month, the word “no” can feel like a gut punch. What’s more, some salespeople immediately see objections as a call to battle, and their defensive behavior can be the demise of the deal. The truth is, handling objections during a negotiation is never easy, but understanding how to handle objections can help you change the dynamics of the entire negotiation. Here are some tips for managing your stress and overcoming objections to close the deal. 

Listen Fully to the Objection

Your first reaction when you hear an objection is usually to respond immediately by defending your proposition. However, it is best to resist this temptation. Quick reactions typically involve emotions and you risk making untrue assumptions. Instead, take the time to listen to the objection fully. Try to ignore any negative emotions you might be feeling and stay focused only on what the other person is saying. Listen with the intention of understanding their concerns and finding a solution. Be sure that your body language communicates that you are listening with concern and not with disdain. 

Understand the Other Party’s Real Concerns

Oftentimes, the other party’s objections aren’t the real issue. They may be used to hide an underlying concern. You can’t overcome an objection without fully understanding the reasoning behind it, so it’s important to uncover what the real concern is. To better understand their objections, take a minute to look at your offer from their perspective. Then, ask questions about their feelings, concerns, and hesitation. Let them know you are genuinely interested in their views, as this will help them see you as an ally. 

Validate Their Concerns

Our immediate response to an objection might be to reiterate why our offer makes sense, but we have to remember that not everyone sees things the same way. Instead, acknowledge the other person’s concerns and let them know you understand their perspective. Then, provide them with information that helps them view your product or service differently.  Offer a new perspective by showing them how your proposition might provide a solution to their needs. 

Address the Barrier

After you are confident that you have uncovered the reason for the objection, address it head on. Explain what you can do to resolve the issue and instill trust in the buyer. The more effectively you can resolve the issue, the greater chance you have of moving forward with the deal. In some cases, you might need more information to resolve the issue or you might need to investigate further. Take the time to do your due diligence. If the buyer senses that you are rushing or ad libbing, it will create distrust. Therefore, do what it takes to address the issue and satisfy their concern. 

One of the simplest, yet most powerful rules of negotiation is this: Always ask for more than you expect to get. Think about how this can be applied to a number of different scenarios. You should ask your hiring manager for more money when you interview for the job. You should ask your boss for the executive suite even though you would be fine with a private office. You should ask the car salesman for a lower price, even though you are happy with the sale price. You should ask the store for a bigger discount, even if you don’t think there’s a chance you will get it. You may be wondering why you should ask for more, even if it’s unlikely that you will get it. This is a critical negotiation tactic that helps to create a more effective bargaining environment. Here are just a few reasons why you should ask for more than you expect to get.

You Just Might Get It

The main reason you should always ask for more is that you might actually get it! After all, you don’t know if you don’t try. This may sound obvious to those who are positive thinkers, but a large number of people feel defeated before they ever open their mouth. Many people shy away from asking for more for fear of rejection. That might end up leaving money on the table so they are spared the potential rejection and ridicule. The fact is, you should never assume you know what the other party will say or do. Likewise, even if your offer does get rejected, you haven’t actually lost anything at this point. Conversely, if you don’t ask, you may be left to wonder if you could have actually gotten more. 

It Leaves Room to Negotiate

If you are selling something, you can always come down but you can’t go up on the price. If you’re buying, you can always go up on price but you can’t come down. Therefore, always ask for more than expect on the front end. This gives you some negotiating room and makes it easier to get what you actually want. It always gives the other party the perception that you are willing to be flexible and flexibility typically leads to better outcomes. 

It Changes the Perceived Value of the Offering

Believe it or not, asking for more than you expect can actually change the other person’s perceived value. In negotiation, perception is everything so if you can change the other person’s perception, you can control the negotiation. For example, if you are selling a house and you ask for a much higher price than what you actually expect to get, the buyer immediately thinks the house must be worth more than they thought since it’s more expensive. You have changed their perceived value of the home. Although they might still negotiate the price down, it’s unlikely that they will offer way lower than the asking price so you will likely end up getting what you hoped for or a little more. 

Makes the Other Side Feel Like They Won

Let’s use the same example of the house. If your asking price is higher, your buyer might negotiate and you end up settling on a number that aligns with your expectations. At the same time, your buyer feels like they got a deal so it’s a win-win for everyone involved.

Negotiating a pay increase is one of the most important skills for your career, but it can also be one of the most intimidating. It requires the right combination of confidence, professionalism, and savvy negotiation skills. That said, it can be the best way to obtain your desired compensation. It is also perfectly acceptable to ask for a raise, and most reputable companies want to take care of their employees. If you are ready to take this important step, here are a few tips on how to successfully negotiate a pay raise. 

Research Salary Data for Your Position

Rather than simply choosing a random number that sounds appealing to you, you must research what a normal salary range looks like for your position and your level of experience. You can do this by speaking to other people in similar positions at your company. You can also do some research online to figure out what the average salary range is for your job and location. Another option is to connect with local hiring experts in your area. Show them your resume and ask them to provide you with a realistic salary goal. It is important that the raise you are asking for is in line with you specific line of work. 

Keep a Record of Your Accomplishments

It is important to make a list of your accomplishments, achievements, accolades, or awards from within the last year. Be prepared to discuss these accomplishments in detail and share how they positively impacted your company. For example, you may have generated 5,000 leads in the past year which equates to more than $80,000 for your company. Perhaps you just successfully completed an important project for which you were recognized. The stronger the data you provide, the stronger your case will be for a well-deserved raise. 

Let Your Boss See the Value You Bring

In addition to the accomplishments, you listed above, you also want your boss to know that you are a valuable long-term asset to the company. Share your career goals and plans for the future and how this will benefit the company. You want them to see you as a person who is worth the investment. 

Ask for the Top of the Range

As you do your research on average salaries for your position, you are likely to come across a range that represents your market value. While asking for the middle number may feel like a safer bet, you should opt for the top of the range. For starters, you should feel confident that you are worth the higher salary, but you should also expect your employer to negotiate down so this gives you a little extra wiggle room. 

Choose the Right Timing

Timing is important when it comes to asking for a pay increase. You certainly don’t want to schedule this meeting around the same time as budget cuts or when your company just suffered a poor quarter-end performance. Rather, make sure the timing is right within the company as well as in your personal career. Don’t wait until your performance review, when there is a good chance raises have already been decided. Instead, talk to your boss well in advance when they are actually deciding on the budget. 

When sitting down at the negotiating table, simply driving a hard bargain on a higher price in order to secure a better outcome for yourself will more likely lead to deadlock than a deal. The fact is, most people aren’t willing to agree to a deal unless they get something of value in return, and sometimes taking one for the team just isn’t worth it. So, how exactly do you plan to get what you want without reciprocating the favor? Creative negotiation is a strategy by which you look for hidden opportunities to meet the needs of your counterpart without compromising your own agenda. 

Focus on Interests, Not Positions

If you allow for both parties to explain their positions on a topic, you could end up slowing things down and people become more focused on sticking to their “position” than reaching an agreement. During the negotiation, shift the focus to the interests of both parties. Make it known that you are aware of the other party’s interests and offer a deal that serves both parties’ interests well. 

Provide Terms Rather than a Price Range

When you focus a negotiation solely on price, the buyer will almost always get the upper hand. That’s because buyers want to get the best deal possible and that usually equates to a price lower than you want to go. However, there is a way to get the price you want while also keeping the other party happy. Be willing to provide a set of terms that will benefit the other party without costing you anything at all. For example, be willing to offer a more flexible payment option, an upgraded service, or an easier contract in exchange for the right price. 

Create a Variety of Outcomes

When you approach a negotiation with only one solution in mind it can narrow the field and lead to a tense negotiating environment where no one wants to give. Instead, brainstorm multiple possible solutions that will ultimately give you the same results. This leads to more open-minded discussions and can make everyone feel like they are coming out a winner. 

Speak with Confidence

There is no doubt that you need to be extremely knowledgeable about your topic prior to negotiating but you also need to be able to sell it. That involves speaking with confidence. When you confidently suggest a proposal and back up your claims with evidence, the other party is more likely to accept your proposed terms without asking for anything in return.