Whether you are seeking a raise or a promotion, employers often use counter offers in an effort to retain high-value employees that might otherwise leave to go to another company. If your employer offers you a counter offer, you may be wondering how to best handle the situation and evaluate your options. Successful counter offers can result in increased salary, better perks, or even a better job position. Here we will discuss some tips and strategies for handling a counter offer from your employer. 

Know Why You are Considering a New Job

If you have been given a counter offer, the first thing you should do is determine what prompted you to seek a new position in the first place. Are you disappointed with your current boss or co-workers? Are you unhappy with your company altogether? Are you looking to climb the ranks to a higher position? If you want more money or a better position, is this something you can get from your current employer? If you are unhappy with your current position will this counter offer solve the problem? Remember to consider all circumstances surrounding the offer, not just the money. 

Consider the Total Compensation

There is more to a compensation package than just the base salary. Check to see if your counter offer includes additional perks such as a bonus or equity in the company. Furthermore, does it include additional benefits like added vacation, flex scheduling, gym membership, or any other special perks. Compare this entire compensation package with that of your other job offer to figure out what is most important to you. 

Does This Offer Put You on a Solid Track?

If you accept this counter offer will it put you on a solid track to advance your career? You can find this out by speaking with your employer and asking questions about your role within the company. You can inquire about how this new position will impact your career and help you continue on a management track. 

Review the Details of the Offer

Find out exactly what is entailed if you accept the counter offer. What will your roles and responsibilities be? Will you have new hours or job duties? It is important to understand what will be expected of you if you accept the offer so you are aware of any new responsibilities that you would be assuming. You want to make sure this is a good fit with your lifestyle. 

Listen to Your Inner Voice

You have probably been told at some point in your life to “trust your intuition” and this certainly applies when applying for a new job. After you have carefully considered the pros and cons of the counter offer, it’s time to listen to your inner voice to figure out which way you are leaning. If you ignore those subtle concerns, you may end up regretting it in the future. On the other hand, if you fail to follow your instinct out of fear, you may miss out on a great opportunity. 

Whether you are trying to increase your salary, propose a new solution for your company, or settle a high-profile business deal, strong negotiation skills are a must in today’s business world. That said, negotiation is an art form that takes time to master. Most business owners and entrepreneurs would admit that it took quite a bit of trial and error to develop a successful negotiation strategy. The problem with this approach, however, is that even a single failed negotiation can be detrimental to your company. That’s why it is so important for business owners, managers, and employees alike to pay close attention to the do’s and don’ts of negotiation. 

Do’s

1.Do prepare.

One of the most important negotiation strategies is preparation. Prior to the negotiation, take time to research the person with whom you will be speaking, the organization they work for as well as general information about the industry, and also competitors and deals they have made in the past. A lack of preparation can cost you time, money, and credibility.

2. Do set goals.

It is important to clarify your goals and objectives before you begin negotiations. You want to have a clear understanding of your desired outcomes. This will help you plan and prepare a proper negotiation strategy. In addition to understanding your own goals, it is also important to understand the goals and desired outcomes of your counterpart so you can aim toward a win-win solution.

3. Do know your bottom line. 

Before entering into any negotiation you need to clearly define your bottom line. Once you do, you have to promise yourself that you will not stray from it, regardless of the pressure you feel from the other side. Setting a bottom line will allow you to know when to step back and when to push forward in a negotiation. 

4. Do listen to others. 

One of the most important things a successful negotiator can do is listen. When you are eager to strike a deal, it can be tempting to do all the talking. However, the most effective negotiators follow the 80/20 rules: Listen 80% of the time and talk 20% of the time.

5. Do use a friendly approach.

When it comes to business negotiations, courtesy and friendliness goes a long way. Take the time to make a little small talk and find common ground with the other party. Smile and be polite and respectful when someone else is speaking. This will lead to smoother negotiations and a better outcome for everyone involved. 

Don’ts

1. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.

Business negotiations should never be taken personally. Therefore, you should never let your emotions dictate your approach or behavior. Stay calm and friendly, even if the other person is not. Don’t be afraid to take breaks if necessary to calm tensions in the room. 

2. Don’t be intimidated.

Some people rely on intimidation tactics to get their way in a negotiation. Don’t allow yourself to be intimidated by someone who makes threats, raises their voice, or tries to bully you. Stay calm and request for substantive data that will support their claims. 

3. Don’t give something away without getting something in return. 

Negotiations often involve concessions but this is bi-lateral. Make sure that any time you make a concession that your counterpart reciprocates. 

4. Don’t make unreasonable demands.

It’s important to remember that negotiations require give and take so you can’t have an “all-or-nothing” attitude. The best negotiators understand the importance of focusing on a mutually beneficial solution. 

5. Don’t underestimate your worth.

Never underestimate what you and your organization have to offer your counterpart. Write down a list of awards, accomplishments, achievements, or strengths before going into the negotiation and keep these in mind as you advocate for yourself and your company.

You may have heard that you need to leave your emotions at the door when you are negotiating, but don’t be fooled. Emotions can and do have a powerful effect on your thinking and behaviors during a negotiation, which is why it is important to maintain a positive attitude. Successful negotiation requires positive energy. The attitude in which you enter a negotiation plays an important role in determining the outcome of the negotiation, and positive energy increases your confidence and creates more positive results. After all, your disposition is your choice. Some people freeze in the winter while others ski. In the end it’s all about attitude and a positive attitude will undoubtedly lead to more successful negotiations. 

The Benefits of Positivity

A positive attitude is a mental state that expects the best to happen. When you believe things will turn out well, they usually do. Here are a few other benefits if positive attitudes:

Positivity allows for constructive thinking. 

A positive attitude enables you to think outside the box and come up with different solutions because you believe you can find them. Not only do you think things will work out well, but you actively seek out constructive ways to execute your solutions. 

Positive thinking leads to creativity. 

Ideal solutions are not always easy to find but for those who are positive, they aren’t afraid to try new things and look for unique solutions. 

Positivity equates to confidence.

A negotiator with a positive attitude is less likely to make mistakes because they feel empowered. Negativity, on the other hand, narrows one’s focus and tends to fog their ability to make sound decisions. 

How to Develop a Positive Attitude

Before a negotiation begins, you should focus on getting your mind positively charged. You can do this by going over the negotiation in your mind and thinking about positive outcomes. Pay close attention to what thoughts are entering your mind and stand guard against negative thinking. 

In addition to your mind, you want to physically take charge of your body by eating a healthy meal before negotiating, practicing some relaxation and breathing techniques, and wearing a smile to trigger positive emotions. It never hurts to laugh a little too! Having a positive attitude is so important because it can create more positive results. In the end, attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. 

In today’s complex and competitive world, it’s more important than ever to develop superior negotiation skills that foster strong relationships. Parties may not always reach their desired outcomes, but successful negotiations involve the same basic principles: preparation, persistence, and patience. No matter what industry you’re in, the ability to negotiate effectively is one of the most valuable skills, and it begins with these three principles.

Preparation

Negotiations begin well before you sit down at the table. The difference between a successful and unsuccessful negotiation often lies in the quality of the parties’ preparation. Negotiators often fail to adequately prepare for their discussion, and therefore fail to reach an agreement. During the preparation period, it’s essential to understand the fundamentals of why you are negotiating and what is motivating you and your counterpart. Consider key objectives and priorities for both sides as well as any weaknesses that you hope to improve. You also want to be informed about all parties involved.

The more you know about all sides of the negotiation, the better your chances of finding a good solution. Finally, keep your eye on the prize and know exactly what you hope to gain and how you plan to achieve it. Prepare possible concessions ahead of time, plan for what the other party might say, and determine your BATNA. Over 80% of a negotiation’s outcome is determined in the pre-negotiation phase, highlighting the importance of being properly prepared.

Persistence

Most children are not trained negotiators, yet they often manage to get what they want. Why? Children have a unique ability to persist. They ask you the same questions over and over and in different ways until they break you down and finally get what they want. This same principle can be applied to negotiating. Negotiators who are persistent have the ability to move the needle in their direction because they simply don’t give up. They realize that just because someone says “no” it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the end of the conversation.

Persistence starts with believing in what you are selling and sharing this enthusiasm with the other party. Speak positive truths and continuously remind yourself and the other party why your product or service is valuable. Ultimately, the ability to persist can lead to long-term success!

Patience

We have all been told at some point to be a little more patient. As it turns out, patience is a key element to a successful negotiation. Patience equals time, and more time may lead to better negotiation outcomes. It takes time to understand what is being offered and the risks that might be involved. With time, you can determine those strengths and weaknesses and make a more informed decision. Patience accomplishes a number of things:

• Gather more information
• Lowers the other party’s expectations
• Leads to concessions
• Allows for realistic assessment 

With patience, all parties can take time to resolve their differences and overcome any obstacles. 

Negotiations can get tense, especially when the stakes are high. Every negotiation can test your patience and your resilience to stay calm. That’s because negotiations often involve intense discussions and difficult conversations, and if you get caught up in your personal needs and goals, it’s easy to get emotional. So, how can you remain calm and focused when things heat up? Consider the following tips for staying poised even during the most stressful negotiations. 

Talk Less, Listen More

While you may have a clear idea of what you hope you to gain from the negotiation, your focus needs to be on more than yourself. Active listening is one of the best ways to have a positive impact on future negotiations. Skillful listening is a great way to calm tensions, resolve conflict, and gather valuable information that will lead to successful deals. 

Build Rapport

When you sit down at the table, don’t just get right into the details of the deal. Instead, connect with the person to create a sense of emotional security. Make small talk and find common ground. Perhaps you share a hobby or interest, you cheer for the same sports team, you grew up in the same neighborhood, or you might know a few of the same people. Look for common ground and spend a few minutes getting to know each other. This will set the tone for a friendlier conversation and when you have a rapport with each other, you’re less likely to get defensive. 

Ignore Threats and Express Empathy

If for some reason the other party begins making implicit threats during the conversation, do not react negatively. Instead, listen intently because they are probably speaking out of fear. Rather than get defensive, empathize with them by saying something like, “You must really be feeling a lot of pressure right now.” By showing empathy, you avoid tension and you give them a reason to de-escalate their demands. 

Take Breaks if Needed

There may be times when you simply need to step away and “take 5.” After discussing for a length of time, your brain might need some rest. Suggest a short break to cool things off and take the time to leave the room, get some fresh air, and gather your thoughts. 

End on a Positive Note

Even if things got heated, remember to always circle back to the progress that was made. Summarize what you agreed on, thank them for their time, and end with a little small talk. Remember you might need to interact with them again in the future and ending things positively will set the tone for future negotiations. 

Negotiation is a form of two-way communication that is supposed to help the involved parties get something they want. It involves two parties seeking to resolve their conflicts and modify their demands in order to reach a mutually acceptable solution. There are two ways this can be achieved: distributive and integrative bargaining. Simply put, distributive bargaining results with one party winning and the other party losing, whereas integrative bargaining can be described as a negotiation in which the two parties work together to find a solution that benefits them both. While both are common forms of negotiation, it is important to note the difference between these approaches so you can decide which strategy works best for you. 

Distributive Bargaining

When both parties seek to maximize their own benefit from a transaction, it is considered distributive bargaining. For example, when you go to buy a car and you try to negotiate the lowest price while the seller tries to get as much as possible, you are both trying to protect your own interest in order to maximize your outcome. Here, what one party loses the other party will gain. Also known as a win-lose negotiation, distributive bargaining is a competitive strategy in which one party comes out ahead and the other one loses. 

Integrative Bargaining

Integrative bargaining happens when both parties put forth their interests and seek a solution that will be mutually beneficial. Here, both parties gain something. For example, when you go to buy a house the seller might be asking $390K whereas your maximum offer is $360. You both compromise and settle on $375k, creating a mutual gain for both parties. This is a collaborative negotiation strategy in which the involved parties seek a win-win solution. 

Key Differences Between Distributive and Integrative Bargaining

• Distributive bargaining is a competitive strategy whereas integrative bargaining is collaborative. 
• Distributive bargaining ends with a winner and a loser while integrative bargaining ends with mutual winners. 
• Distributive bargaining is motivated by self-interest and personal gain whereas integrative bargaining is motivated by mutual interests and gain. 
• Distributive bargaining does not put much emphasis on the relationship between the two parties while integrative bargaining makes the relationship a high priority. 

Our ability to show empathy is what helps us forge meaningful relationships with others, but did you know that empathy can also impact the decision making process? The truth is, empathy can actually impact the motives of those around you and the art of negotiation often relies on an approach known as tactical empathy. Therefore, we can apply basic psychology to learn how to be strategically empathetic during the negotiation process in order to achieve our desired outcome. 

What is Tactical Empathy?

Tactical empathy is an approach centered around deeply listening and connecting with your counterpart rather than aggressively disagreeing with them or trying to persuade them. Though there is a time and a place to play hardball, many successful negotiators prefer a more collaborative approach that incorporates thoughtfulness and empathy. When you build trust with your counterpart, you can then use this trusting relationship to secure deals. 

How Empathy Can Be Used in Negotiations

Tactical empathy consists of several different negotiation strategies, all of which are intended to build trusting relationships and give your counterpart the illusion that they are in control. After all, successful negotiations happen where there is simply the perception of mutual gains. The purpose of tactical empathy is to work toward what appears to be a win-win outcome for both parties. Here are some ways to employ tactical empathy during negotiations. 

Demonstrate that you are acting in good faith. The idea is to show the other party that you seek a solution that will benefit them. You are not there to exploit or deceive them, but rather to help them. 

Show a genuine interest in the other party. Take time to find out what is driving the other party. What are their goals, objectives, motivations, and fears? Actively listen to them and seek to understand their perspective. This helps to build an authentic connection which will ultimately lead to a better outcome for both parties. 

Work to dispel negative feelings. Try to diffuse any feelings of anger, mistrust, suspicion, or fear. Talk to the other party about their feelings and find out why they might be experiencing negative emotions. Then, work to deactivate those emotions by building reassurance and trust. 

Aim for positive emotions. Look for ways to appeal to your counterpart’s emotions and build mutual understanding. Try to be a source of comfort and build a rapport so you can both work together to reach your goals. 

Negotiation is often thought of as a very serious discussion and is probably the last place you would expect to find laughter. However, humor can be an excellent negotiating tool because it helps to establish and strengthen relationships between partners. When tensions are high and negotiations become deadlocked, a simple joke can ease tensions and create a bond among all parties involved, eventually leading to a deal. Whether you are negotiating a pay raise, a million dollar deal, or simply where to go for dinner, humor can play a significant role in your success. 

According to recent studies, humor has numerous benefits in the negotiation process. It can put the involved parties at ease; it can introduce a difficult issue; it can foster teamwork and bonding; it can even help people cooperate amidst disagreements. If you can inject humor into your negotiations, you are more likely to set the tone for a smoother conversation. For example, imagine you have proposed a deal and the tension began rising as the other party asked, “What is this going to cost me?” You pause and respond, “Are you sitting down?” The other person might laugh and the tension is reduced right away. This tactic can be extremely effective for closing deals. 

When you are negotiating, look for opportunities to weave in a little humor- perhaps a funny story or anecdote or even a funny gesture. Negotiations are often serious and intense so humor can be a great way to lighten the mood. When we relax the atmosphere with a few innocent jokes, you are able to put people at ease. In turn, they can think more objectively and make better decisions. Be cautious, however, and choose your words carefully. You want to be sure your humor is always used professionally, so avoid sharp jabs or inappropriate jokes. When used appropriately, humor can not only relax the atmosphere, but it can help you break a deadlock. Self-deprecating humor can be especially effective for this. An occasional joke about yourself can create an environment of collaboration and helps to increase your likability. So, the next time you find yourself in the midst of tense negotiations, consider lightening the mood a little with humor. 

The word “no” is one of the most dreaded words for any salesperson. After all, when you are trying to close that last deal of the month, the word “no” can feel like a gut punch. What’s more, some salespeople immediately see objections as a call to battle, and their defensive behavior can be the demise of the deal. The truth is, handling objections during a negotiation is never easy, but understanding how to handle objections can help you change the dynamics of the entire negotiation. Here are some tips for managing your stress and overcoming objections to close the deal. 

Listen Fully to the Objection

Your first reaction when you hear an objection is usually to respond immediately by defending your proposition. However, it is best to resist this temptation. Quick reactions typically involve emotions and you risk making untrue assumptions. Instead, take the time to listen to the objection fully. Try to ignore any negative emotions you might be feeling and stay focused only on what the other person is saying. Listen with the intention of understanding their concerns and finding a solution. Be sure that your body language communicates that you are listening with concern and not with disdain. 

Understand the Other Party’s Real Concerns

Oftentimes, the other party’s objections aren’t the real issue. They may be used to hide an underlying concern. You can’t overcome an objection without fully understanding the reasoning behind it, so it’s important to uncover what the real concern is. To better understand their objections, take a minute to look at your offer from their perspective. Then, ask questions about their feelings, concerns, and hesitation. Let them know you are genuinely interested in their views, as this will help them see you as an ally. 

Validate Their Concerns

Our immediate response to an objection might be to reiterate why our offer makes sense, but we have to remember that not everyone sees things the same way. Instead, acknowledge the other person’s concerns and let them know you understand their perspective. Then, provide them with information that helps them view your product or service differently.  Offer a new perspective by showing them how your proposition might provide a solution to their needs. 

Address the Barrier

After you are confident that you have uncovered the reason for the objection, address it head on. Explain what you can do to resolve the issue and instill trust in the buyer. The more effectively you can resolve the issue, the greater chance you have of moving forward with the deal. In some cases, you might need more information to resolve the issue or you might need to investigate further. Take the time to do your due diligence. If the buyer senses that you are rushing or ad libbing, it will create distrust. Therefore, do what it takes to address the issue and satisfy their concern. 

One of the simplest, yet most powerful rules of negotiation is this: Always ask for more than you expect to get. Think about how this can be applied to a number of different scenarios. You should ask your hiring manager for more money when you interview for the job. You should ask your boss for the executive suite even though you would be fine with a private office. You should ask the car salesman for a lower price, even though you are happy with the sale price. You should ask the store for a bigger discount, even if you don’t think there’s a chance you will get it. You may be wondering why you should ask for more, even if it’s unlikely that you will get it. This is a critical negotiation tactic that helps to create a more effective bargaining environment. Here are just a few reasons why you should ask for more than you expect to get.

You Just Might Get It

The main reason you should always ask for more is that you might actually get it! After all, you don’t know if you don’t try. This may sound obvious to those who are positive thinkers, but a large number of people feel defeated before they ever open their mouth. Many people shy away from asking for more for fear of rejection. That might end up leaving money on the table so they are spared the potential rejection and ridicule. The fact is, you should never assume you know what the other party will say or do. Likewise, even if your offer does get rejected, you haven’t actually lost anything at this point. Conversely, if you don’t ask, you may be left to wonder if you could have actually gotten more. 

It Leaves Room to Negotiate

If you are selling something, you can always come down but you can’t go up on the price. If you’re buying, you can always go up on price but you can’t come down. Therefore, always ask for more than expect on the front end. This gives you some negotiating room and makes it easier to get what you actually want. It always gives the other party the perception that you are willing to be flexible and flexibility typically leads to better outcomes. 

It Changes the Perceived Value of the Offering

Believe it or not, asking for more than you expect can actually change the other person’s perceived value. In negotiation, perception is everything so if you can change the other person’s perception, you can control the negotiation. For example, if you are selling a house and you ask for a much higher price than what you actually expect to get, the buyer immediately thinks the house must be worth more than they thought since it’s more expensive. You have changed their perceived value of the home. Although they might still negotiate the price down, it’s unlikely that they will offer way lower than the asking price so you will likely end up getting what you hoped for or a little more. 

Makes the Other Side Feel Like They Won

Let’s use the same example of the house. If your asking price is higher, your buyer might negotiate and you end up settling on a number that aligns with your expectations. At the same time, your buyer feels like they got a deal so it’s a win-win for everyone involved.