Experienced negotiators know the value of building personal relationships as part of the negotiation process. The nature of the two party’s relationship can have a major impact on the outcome of the negotiation. Research has shown that stronger relationships lead to greater empathy and cooperation in negotiations as well as increased attention to the other’s needs and better decision-making. When relationship preservation is the goal, you will even find that parties are willing to make concessions to enhance the relationship. The connection between both parties is so important and wise leaders understand the benefits of fostering a strong relationship when negotiating. 

Reciprocal Trust

A working relationship is built on mutual respect, understanding, friendship, and above all else, trust. Trust is vital to successful negotiations because people are more likely to accept a proposal from someone they trust. This reciprocal nature of trust happens when you take the time to build a rapport with the other party. This often happens before the negotiation even takes place. Perhaps it means sharing a few friendly phone conversations, having a work lunch, or conducting an in-person meeting beforehand. When trust exists between the two parties, the negotiation is likely to go much smoother and more efficiently. 

Reach Better Deals

When you have a relationship with the other party, you are more likely to be genuinely interested in each other’s needs and concerns. This mutual understanding of the other party leads to better outcomes. That’s because you are more likely to be able to work together more effectively and seek to understand the position of the other side. You are more likely to interact positively and engage in beneficial conversations. 

Handling Conflict

Conflict can arise in negotiations when both parties don’t agree on certain terms. In some cases, this can lead to tension that causes the negotiation to end in a deadlock. However, when there is already a strong relationship between the two parties, they are more likely to keep their emotions in check in order to reach a resolution. 

Long-Term Success

Negotiations aren’t just about getting the deal you want at that very moment. In many cases, you will be negotiating with the other party continuously in the future. Therefore, it is in your best interest to build a positive relationship so you can ensure effective negotiations for the length of your business relationship. The success of any business depends on long-term relationships and this is certainly true at the negotiation table. 

Skillful and effective negotiation involves a combination of communication skills and an understanding of both your goals and those of your counterpart. In addition, your ability to persuade convincingly can also help your counterpart understand and accept your position. Persuasion is a powerful strategic tactic that can help you achieve your desired outcome in a negotiation. Through the power of persuasion, you can convince your opponent to accept your views and possibly change their course of action. Learning the skill of persuasion can also help you handle and resolve disputes. Here are a few ways you can apply persuasion skills to positively influence the outcome of your next negotiation. 

The Reciprocity Effect

In general, people like to repay what they have received from others. For instance, if someone gives you a Christmas gift, you may want to reciprocate because now you feel obligated to do so. Similarly, you receive the “small gift” of address labels from a charitable organization and now you feel obliged to donate in return. This can be applied to negotiation as a great way to persuade the other party. You give them something they perceive as valuable and you get something you want in return. 

The Consistency Principle

People feel the need to remain consistent in their beliefs, actions, and opinions. In many cases, once a position is taken, people tend to stick with it just because they feel committed to it. That is why salespeople often use this tactic when negotiating. They get the other person to agree with them multiple times because after saying “ye” over and over, it becomes very difficult to say “no” when it’s time to close the deal. 

Establish Likability

People tend to buy from people that they like. They may even agree to something they don’t really want simply because they like the other person and want to please them. Successful negotiators understand this tactic and work to establish a rapport with the other party. They may engage in small talk and find similarities, common interests, or shared backgrounds. Once this relationship has been established, it becomes difficult for the other person to say “no” simply because they don’t want to disappoint you. 

Law of Scarcity

We have all seen ads on TV claiming that you need to “act now while supplies last!” The Law of Scarcity suggests that if there is a limited supply of something then it must be good or popular. When people think there is a limited supply of an item or that an offer will soon expire, they feel compelled to act quickly so they don’t miss out. 

Social Influence

This tactic works when you draw on testimonials from satisfied customers or clients. When a prospective customer hears how much current customers love your product or service, they are more convinced to follow suit. People like to feel like they are part of a community and if “everyone” else loves your product, they will probably love it too. 

We live in a world with so much noise that people often feel uncomfortable with silence. This even happens in business meetings, where people are constantly talking over each other and interjecting the minute someone else pauses. As soon as there is a moment of silence, someone usually tries to speak up to fill in the gap. However, silence can be an extremely powerful and effective tool at the negotiating table. The occasional silence allows you to better absorb the information you are hearing, it can force the other person to speak, and it can also add impact and clarity to your speech. Here are a few ways silence can help you during your next negotiation. 

Benefits of Silence in Negotiations

You can better listen and understand what you are hearing.

One of the hardest things for many negotiators to do is to listen. That’s because they are often so focused on their own agenda that it becomes difficult to absorb what the other person is saying. While their counterpart is talking, they tend to be mentally preparing their response rather than actively listening. Allowing a few moments of silence before responding will help you turn off your internal voice so you can listen more effectively. 

Silence Builds Trust

This may sound counterintuitive, but imagine you are looking to purchase a new car. Which salesperson would you be more likely to trust: the one who speaks continuously without allowing you to speak or the one who speaks less, allowing you to ask questions or share your thoughts? Presumably, the second salesperson that incorporated silence from time to time, would seem more trustworthy. Even if it’s not your intention, the person who speaks incessantly will appear pushy and immediately creates a sense of distrust. 

Silence Builds Respect

Just like it builds trust, silence also helps build respect. By demonstrating that you are willing to remain silent and listen, you demonstrate to your counterpart that you respect their ideas and opinions. When you treat someone with respect, you are likely to get that same respect in return. 

Silence Makes the Other Person Talk

Great negotiators know that gathering information is critical in a negotiation. You need to find out what the other person wants and needs and what is motivating them. When you practice silence, you force the other person to speak first. This can be an effective way to gather important information about the other party. 

Silence Creates Impact

Think about a great speaker you may have heard. Chances are, at some point during their speech they said something that was truly powerful. There’s also a good chance they paused briefly after the statement. That’s because that brief pause was just enough to create impact and make the audience really think about what was just said. The same is true during negotiations. Negotiators use silence to draw attention to their most important points.

Negotiation is more of an art form than a natural ability. It requires a great deal of practice over a period of time, which is why negotiating can be difficult for a rookie. You can easily make a mistake without even realizing it. You may accidentally reveal your bottom line, offend the other party, concede more than you should, or even get your numbers mixed up. The point is, that you are bound to mistakes when you first begin negotiating. Fortunately, through awareness, practice, and preparation, you can learn to avoid common mistakes in order to reach better deals. Here are a few of the most common mistakes rookie negotiators make and how you can avoid them to set yourself up for a better outcome. 

Not Doing Your Homework

One of the most common mistakes rookie negotiators make is rushing into a negotiation without fully preparing for it. You may think you are prepared because you know what you want to get out of the deal, but that is far from adequate preparation. Successful negotiators know that you must analyze more than just your own side. You also need to do your homework and find out as much as you can about the other party. What are their expectations and goals? What is motivating them? What pain points do they have? The more you know about your counterpart, the better you will be able to prepare a good strategy. Be sure you understand both your position and theirs, have a strategy in place and have a backup plan in case things don’t go your way. 

Focusing on “Winning” Rather Than “Collaborating”

Many novice negotiators look at negotiation as having a winner and a loser. In an effort to avoid “losing” the negotiation they may even make unreasonable demands, threats, or other coercive tactics in order to get their way. Unfortunately, this is not an ideal approach to negotiations and it is far better to collaborate with your counterpart and seek a mutually beneficial solution. Smart negotiators know that reaching a win-win outcome rather than a win-lose outcome will lead to better working relationships in the long run. 

Letting Your Emotions Get the Best of You

It’s easy to get frustrated when a discussion doesn’t go the way you had planned. You may even find yourself getting defensive and angry at times. However, you must never let your emotions get in the way of a successful negotiation. In fact, anger and frustration can lead to stalled discussions and it can ultimately kill deals so learn to keep your emotions in check, take breaks if needed, and remain calm and collected. 

Not Listening

Rookie negotiators are often so focused on presenting their own ideas and trying to close the deal that they forget to listen. However, not listening not only sours your relationship with the other party, but it prevents you from gaining important information about the other party that could help you negotiate the best deal. In addition to sharing your own thoughts and pitching your side, remember to ask questions, listen to the responses, and find out what matters most to your counterpart. 

Lacking Confidence

Negotiating your first deal is not easy, but it is still important to learn to project confidence. You can do this by learning as much as you can about the subject, researching the other person’s side, and preparing adequately for the negotiation. If you walk in nervously, the other person will be able to read you like a book and they might take full advantage of your nerves to back you into a deal. 

Giving In Under Pressure

At some point, we have all seen deals on TV or in stores that use pressure tactics like “while supplies last” or “offer expires this Friday.” This is a powerful technique designed to pressure you into making a decision on the spot. The same happens in negotiations. You need to learn to recognize these tactics so you can resist their influence and avoid caving under pressure.

Whether you are asking for a raise, a promotion, or that new corner office, having to ask your boss for anything can be daunting. That said, no one should ever remain quietly dissatisfied when it comes to asking for something that means a lot to you at work. The conversation doesn’t have to be frightening if you are keeping both you and your bosses’ best interests in mind. Here are a few tips that can help you feel more comfortable and increase your chances of getting what you want the next time you have to negotiate with your boss. 

Write Down Your Goals

Before approaching your boss, think about exactly what your goals are and what you hope to achieve from the negotiation. Possible goals might be getting a raise, getting a promotion, obtaining additional vacation days, getting more flexible hours, or even getting new equipment for your office. Just be sure you have a clear understanding of exactly what you want as well as a few reasons why you feel you deserve this outcome. 

Have a Shared Interest

Successful negotiations happen when there is a shared intention and shared trust between both parties. Consider not only what is most important to you but also what your boss values. Be prepared to communicate how you plan to meet your boss’s needs through your skills, experience, and work ethic. 

Make a Record of Your Accomplishments

If you plan to negotiate for a raise or promotion, you need to be prepared to explain why you believe you deserve it. Keep a track record of your accomplishments including projects or tasks that you successfully completed, achievements, awards, or accolades you may have received. By reflecting on your accomplishments, you will be able to showcase your skills and competencies. You want your boss to know what you have done to make the company more successful and you want them to see how valuable you are to the company.

Ask for More Than You Expect to Get

Negotiations are all about give and take in order to reach a compromise. Therefore, aim a little higher than your goals so your boss will be more likely to reach your desired conclusion. If you want three extra vacation days for example, ask for a week. Don’t go overboard with your request, but always anticipate a little bit of wiggle room. 

Use Facts Over Emotions

You need to be able to back up your requests with concrete data and examples. You cannot simply say “I feel like I have earned a raise.” Rather you need to be prepared to show that your last three quarters have exceeded company expectations and that’s why you are deserving of a raise. 

Listen to Your Boss

Just as you want your boss to listen to you, you must also extend that same courtesy to your boss. Listen to their perspective with an open mind and try putting yourself in their shoes to better understand their opinion. Active listening helps build mutual trust and respect. 

Keep a Flexible Outlook

You and your boss may not be able to reach an agreement that leaves you fully satisfied, but try to be cooperative and learn to compromise. Your boss may have constraints that make accepting your proposal impossible at the time, so prepare yourself to reach back out to them again in the future. 

Promotions are an important part of moving up the ranks and gaining new responsibilities within an organization. Job promotions are usually accompanied by increased salaries, which can also be important to employees. Sometimes promotions happen on their own, and other times you may have to advocate for yourself. However, asking for a promotion can be anxiety-inducing. That said, sometimes it is best to muster up the courage and take the initiative to ask for one, rather than waiting for it to happen on its own. If you are looking to take the next step in your career, consider these tips for asking for a promotion. 

1. Reflect on What You Really Want

Are you looking to gain more responsibilities? Are you wanting a higher salary? Are you hoping to move closer to the managerial position you ultimately want? You need to have a clear vision of what this new position looks like before discussing it with your manager. It is important to consider your personal career goals so you can be sure this new role aligns with your long-term goals. Sometimes managers offer promotions but it might not be a role that interests you. Don’t be afraid to speak up and ask for what you really want. You may be surprised to find that this could actually be less daunting for your manager. Instead of them having to figure out where to promote you, you already know where you want to be. 

2. Outline Your Record of Achievements

Promotions are offered to employees who demonstrate exceptional performance. Therefore, you will want to be prepared to show a record of all of your achievements in your current role. This will help you build a case for your promotion and will help you organize your talking points when it comes time to discuss your career growth. Include ways that you have positively impacted your organization, projects that you successfully completed, contributions you have made to your department, and any awards or recognition that you have received. 

3. Research the New Job

If you are looking to fill a position that already exists, take the time to research the position and learn more about it. Talk to the person who currently holds the position and ask them about the job responsibilities. Then, think about your strengths and achievements and why you would be an ideal candidate for the position. When you sit down with your manager, demonstrate your knowledge of this new position and be prepared to explain what qualifies you for the position. 

4. Choose the Right Time

There may not be a perfect time to ask for a promotion, but some times are better than others. For example, if you have just completed a very successful quarter or you just received a glowing performance review, that might be a good time to request a promotion. On the other hand, you don’t want to ask for a promotion if the company is making budget cuts or laying off employees.

5. Be Prepared to Negotiate

It’s always best to prepare some negotiating points prior to asking for a promotion. Perhaps you have been offered another job. You could certainly use this as a bargaining chip to help you land that promotion. If you don’t have another job to fall back on, you can be prepared to negotiate things like salary, stock options, or other perks. If things don’t work out right then, remain open to revisiting the possibility of a promotion in three to six months.

There’s no doubt that communication is a fundamental component of any successful business. It is essential to have communication that is honest, open, and clear, and that starts from the top. The CEO is the leader of the business, so it is obviously important for them to be an excellent communicator. This means more than just being polite and politically correct. It also means delivering content that is meaningful to the rest of the organization. The CEO should be able to communicate the basic elements of their business strategy as well as steps for achieving it. They are also expected to brief employees on current happenings within the company as well as leading sales calls, running meetings, delivering powerful presentations, and providing support for critical situations. With so much at stake, the CEO must learn to develop effective communication skills in order to meet the demands of their job. Here are a few strategies for encouraging best practices for CEO communication. 

1. Develop an Internal Communication Plan

With so many employees now working remotely, companies need to come up with a new plan for communicating with employees who are all separated from each other. Communication is not only vital for keeping employees in the loop, but it also supports a sense of belonging and community. Generic memos from the CEO just don’t cut it these days. There needs to be new methods of communication from video conferencing and zoom meetings to regular emails and newsletters to keep employees engaged, informed, and up-to-date with company happenings. 

2. Find Ways to Interact with Employees

It’s not enough for CEO’s to simply spit out information. Communication is a two-way street so they also need to look for ways to interact with employees. For example, CEO’s should involve employees in identifying and solving challenges, by asking questions and seeking feedback. One way to do this is by conducting a company wide survey. CEO’s could also host a listening tour, in which they ask employees from various departments the same questions and record their feedback. This helps employees feel engaged in the company and fosters an environment where communication is two-fold. 

3. Be Inspiring

A CEO’s job is to share their vision and goals for the company with their employees. However, an old school presentation that lays out the company vision and mission might not be enough. In order to really drive home the message, CEO’s need to inspire employees to work toward these goals. Whether it’s sharing an inspirational story, starting a change initiative, or creating a friendly competition to get employees fired up, a great communicator is one who inspires change and motivates others to do the same. 

4. Be Authentic

Think about that company wide email that sounded like it was derived directly from a script. Chances are you read through it and immediately deleted it from your inbox. Now, imagine an email comes through directly from your CEO that sounds more like a personal, heartfelt email that he penned right there on the spot from his/her office. Chances are this unscripted email will have more of an impact because it feels genuine and authentic. CEO’s need to remember the power of authenticity and go unscripted every now and then. This is a great way to build trust with employees. 

5. Reintroduce Yourself to Customers

CEO’s can never assume that they still have the same target audience. They always need to be looking for ways to reconnect with customers in order to build trust and loyalty. Customers are more likely to choose a company they have established an authentic relationship with, and it’s up to the CEO to reiterate who they are and why they value their customers and community. 

6. Make Yourself More Approachable

All too often the CEO feels like some far-away king sitting on their throne somewhere. Employees feel like they know nothing about them and perhaps that they are just a number to that person. That’s why it is so important for CEO’s to learn to be open, honest, and transparent with their employees. Share personal stories, challenges, or goals. Host “Ask Me Anything” sessions so employees can get to know more about you. This helps employees see you as a person, and it demonstrates a level of trust, respect, and empathy from the CEO. 

7. Recognize Milestones and Achievements

Communication from CEO’s shouldn’t always be about quarterly results, company vision, and current challenges. Sometimes, it simply needs to be about recognition. Knowing that the CEO might recognize you for your accomplishments can be hugely motivating. It encourages people to strive for special achievements. Share great happenings within your organization including company milestones, personal achievements, and gracious “thank you’s” for a job well done. This can be incredibly meaningful coming from the one on top.

The ability to negotiate well is an extremely advantageous skill to have, both in your personal and professional life.  While many people try numerous tips, tricks, and strategies to improve their negotiation skills, they may be missing one of the most crucial components: body language. In a negotiation, as with any other form of conversation, your body language can have a significant impact on the situation. You can convey attitudes, feelings, and emotions through your non-verbal communication. You can back up your words with physical actions that exude confidence, honesty, and authenticity. This helps to foster a sense of trust between you and the other party, persuading them to react cooperatively. In fact, studies have shown that body language and nonverbal communication actually has a greater impact in a discussion than the words you speak. Therefore, gain the edge in your next negotiation with these helpful body language tips and tricks. 

Perfect Your Handshake

There’s no denying the power of the old-fashioned handshake. The most important thing about your handshake is that you have one at all. A pleasant handshake, no matter how firm or floppy, will promote honesty and integrity and it immediately makes people feel welcome and comfortable. It also helps to promote cooperation, which can increase the chances of successful deal making. 

Maintain Eye Contact

Eye contact is not easy for everyone. In fact, it makes some people uncomfortable. However, good eye contact is important in negotiations and is one of the single most powerful communication tools. Looking your counterpart in the eye conveys confidence, but it also demonstrates trust and sincerity. Avoiding eye contact, on the other hand, can give the impression that you are being evasive or dishonest. Remember to maintain friendly eye contact, so as not to come on too strong. 

Smile Genuinely

A genuine smile can make for a great first impression and it increases the perceived level of trust between you and the other party. A genuine smile is also viewed as a polite gesture and immediately makes you appear more likable. You have a much greater chance of reaching an amicable and successful conclusion if you share a genuine smile with your counterpart. 

Maintain Good Posture

Having good posture does more than prevent backaches. It can also play an important role in your ability to negotiate effectively. Your posture sends subtle clues to show that you are interested in the conversation. It also displays openness and confidence. You want to maintain an open posture and avoid crossing your arms or leaning away from the other person. Rather, sit up straight, lean toward the person who is speaking, and look directly at the person to demonstrate your interest. 

Be Aware of Facial Expressions

Keep in mind that your facial expressions can have an impact on the outcome of your negotiations. You have probably been in a conversation where you experienced the frustration of trying to decipher the unwelcome expression on the other person’s face. You don’t want to send the wrong message by furrowing your brows, wrinkling your forehead, or frowning. Instead, you want to smile, not in agreement, and keep your chin up to promote a feeling of positivity.

Negotiation is not an easy process, especially for people who struggle with conflict. Since negotiations are all about conflict resolution, it is important to enter into the discussion with the right frame of mind so you can reach an amicable agreement. Many people enter negotiations with preconceived notions, which can contribute to mistakes, misunderstandings, and unsuccessful negotiations. If you walk into a negotiation expecting to be offered a bad deal, for example, it will automatically impact the way you approach the conversation. These psychological barriers are often subconscious biases that prevent us from being able to negotiate effectively. Here we will take a look at some of the most common psychological barriers and how you can overcome them.

The Endowment Effect

The first barrier that is commonly associated with negotiation is the endowment effect. This is the idea that whatever you have is worth more because it’s yours. When something is in our possession, we tend to place a higher value on it than what it’s actually worth simply because we own it. It is a subjective opinion, not based on objective reality or consideration of how someone else might value it. Think of when you are having a yard sale for example. You may tend to price items too high because you see them as more valuable than someone else might. You might even be offended when someone offers you a much lower price. The best way to overcome this is by looking at the negotiation objectively. Consider how someone else might perceive the value of what you are offering. You may even want to consult with a neutral third party to get a fair idea of the true value. 

Comparative Gains and Equity

How many times have you heard your child yell, “That’s not fair!” You may have even responded with something like, “Life’s not fair.” The fact is, it’s human nature to want everything to be “fair,” but what does “fair” actually look like? Oftentimes in negotiations, proposals are rejected out of a sense of “fairness.” Parties may even perceive the concessions they are receiving to be less valuable than the ones they are giving, which gives the impression that the deal is “unfair.” Instead of looking at everything as equal, consider how the deal benefits you. You may have to give up something of higher value, but if it leads to the results you want, then it is obviously worth it. Approach negotiations with a new mindset, that “fair” does not always mean “equal.” a good deal doesn’t have to be “fair” to be successful. 

Loss Aversion

It’s common for negotiators to attach greater weight to prospective losses than prospective gains. This can make them reluctant to trade concessions. Think back to the yard sale scenario. You may be reluctant to sell that lamp for a lower price because you remember what you paid for it. However, by not selling the lamp, you gain nothing and you will probably end up donating it for free.  On the other hand, if you sell it for a lower price, you not only made some money on the deal but you also got the lamp off your hands. Stop focusing so heavily on the “loss” and consider what you will actually be gaining. By shifting your perspective, you begin to see the mutual benefits of the deal.

Negotiation can be a tricky process. You may assume that if you are armed with all the right information, money, and bargaining power, you could certainly land a favorable deal. The reality, however, is that we often lose deals not because of power or money, but because we are negotiating against ourselves. Human beings have a tendency to try and rationalize all of our decisions and actions. We doubt ourselves when we need to be confident. We avoid making a decision because we worry it’s the wrong one. Doubts and indecisiveness can wreak havoc on our ability to negotiate, not to mention that it can be mentally exhausting. To create a more balanced discussion and manage your negotiations successfully, consider implementing the following strategies. 

Take an Assertive Approach

See yourself as a leader and approach a negotiation with that mindset. If you don’t see yourself as a leader, you will always feel insecure about your decisions. Do adequate research and arm yourself with information beforehand, and then approach the negotiation with confidence, knowing you are well prepared. Remind yourself that you are capable of making important decisions and keep that assertive attitude throughout the negotiation. 

Make a List of Concessions

You can eliminate a lot of that second guessing by preparing your concessions ahead of time. Make a list of concessions and list them in order of importance. This will help you develop a strategy when it comes time to concede. You can spend as much time as you need putting thought into this ahead of time. That way, you won’t feel pressured on the spot and whatever you do concede, you will know it was well thought out and planned. 

Commit to Your Decisions

When you make a decision, stick with it. Don’t flounder around and begin second-guessing your decisions. You will only confuse yourself and add stress to the situation. Once you have agreed to something, move forward, knowing you made an educated decision. 

Do Your Homework

Finally, you want to do as much homework ahead of time as possible. Get to know as much as you can about the other party, what is most important to them, and what pain points they may have. Also, consider your own bargaining power, what your needs are, and how you can mutually reach those goals. The more planning and research you do in advance, the more confident you will feel when it comes time to negotiate and this will help you avoid second-guessing yourself and wrestling with yourself internally.