A successful negotiation is all about the process of give and take between two parties. Although each party has their own goals, they both seek to find common ground that leads to a winning solution for everyone. While this sounds great in theory, the reality is that there are times when both parties leave the negotiating table frustrated, unhappy, and with a devastated relationship because they let their egos get in the way. Despite popular belief, successful negotiating is not about the bluff and bluster. Rather, the secret to successful negotiation is to take ego out of the equation. 

You Appear Arrogant

If you walk into a negotiation acting as though you are an expert on the subject being discussed, your counterpart will perceive this as arrogance. It’s no secret that no one enjoys dealing with someone who is arrogant, so this will put a damper on the relationship right from the start. Although we all have biases and opinions, be careful not to force these opinions on your counterpart. Instead, actively listen and seek to understand their perspectives. Be patient and look for a mutually acceptable solution rather than forcing your own agenda. The best negotiators are confident, but they also accept that they don’t have all the answers. It is far better to listen and consider other possibilities in order to gain more knowledge on the subject. When you leave your ego at the door, you become comfortable with the notion that there are other ways to solve a problem and you gain a better understanding of the situation. 

Egos Destroy Relationships

You certainly enter into a negotiation with the intent to gain something of value, but great negotiators don’t discount the relationship with their counterpart. After all, what good does it do you to get what you want if the other party refuses to ever work with you again in the future. Strategic negotiation is more than just “winning.” It’s also about maintaining and strengthening professional relationships for future negotiations. When you leave your ego at the door, you open yourself up to service. Rather than focusing solely on your own needs, you put the well-being of your counterpart at the forefront of your negotiation. Negotiators who consider the needs of the other party position themselves for effective negotiations in the long-term. 

You Want to Encourage Cooperation

Those who leave their egos at the door set up a climate of cooperation that can lead to a more successful outcome. If you are only concerned about yourself, it will lead to a miserable negotiation. It’s frustrating trying to work with someone who won’t listen to anyone else. Negotiators who leave their ego behind, come into the discussion with an open mind, focused on success, and often foster a culture of cooperation. You have the best chance for success when you and your counterpart work collaboratively toward a common goal. 

When you enter into a negotiation, you have to remember two things: your goals and the goals of the other party. The number one reason negotiations fail is because the negotiator doesn’t consider the needs of the other party and they keep negotiating to the point that the other party finally walks away. The key is to trade value for value rather than focusing on a specific want. Negotiation is a complex method of communication, but an open mind will make your negotiations more fruitful and successful.

Skilled negotiators understand that making concessions is part of reaching a successful deal. Contrary to popular belief, counteroffers and concessions are not a sign of weakness, but rather a useful tactic for achieving the desired outcome. Negotiation is a dynamic process, and skilled negotiators plan for counteroffers in advance. There will likely be trade-offs on both sides before reaching an agreement, and these counteroffers can lead to a better deal that is a win for everyone. Here are a few reasons why counteroffers make both parties more satisfied. 

It Established Trust and Credibility

The secret to a successful negotiation is making the other party feel like you value their needs in addition to your own. The last thing someone wants is to feel like they are being strong armed by the other side. When both parties are willing to make concessions through counteroffers, it helps to establish a sense of trust and credibility with the other party. When you acknowledge a counteroffer you not only affect the other party’s perceptions of your goodwill, but it also triggers their desire to reciprocate. Therefore, these counteroffers lead to an increased level of trust between the parties. 

It Demonstrates Flexibility

One hallmark of a good negotiation is establishing a relationship in which one party is not nickel and diming the other. Rather, each side listens to the concerns and values of the other party and makes an effort toward achieving a mutual gain. When counteroffers are made and accepted, it shows a willingness to be flexible and make concessions. This will sit well with the other party and encourage them to reciprocate until both parties achieve their desired outcome.  

Both Parties Feel Like Winners

Successful negotiations do not have winners and losers. Rather, then end in a mutually beneficial agreement. Counteroffers are a great way for both parties to make concessions in order to reach a win-win solution. It goes without saying that both parties will be much happier when they both walk away feeling like winners. 

No One is In Control

It is difficult for both parties to feel satisfied with an agreement if one party feels like they were controlled by the other. Counteroffers eliminate this control, by allowing each side to make concessions until they can reach an amicable agreement. When a concession is made, it is expected that the other party will reciprocate in return. This compromise creates the feeling that both parties have equal control of the outcome. 

It Is Perceived as a Fair Deal

Even if one party comes out with the better end of the deal, both parties typically feel like the negotiation was fair if counteroffers were made. Even if only small concessions were made, it indicates flexibility and strengthens credibility. Counteroffers involve movement within the negotiation and when both parties are willing to move, they perceive the agreement as a fair deal.

If you are preparing to enter into an important negotiation where the stakes are high it could leave you feeling nervous and uneasy. If you negotiate too hard, the deal will crumble. If you are too timid, you could end up leaving money on the table. While it’s certainly important to spend lots of time preparing to close the deal, you need to spend just as much time preparing to walk away. Knowing when to walk away in a negotiation is some of the most important and powerful information a negotiator can bring to the bargaining table. Nobody wants to walk away from a deal, but there are times when it is necessary and you must be comfortable doing so. Knowing when and how to walk away from a negotiation can be advantageous, and here’s why. 

It Prevents You From Making a Bad Deal

Negotiations aren’t easy and there are times when you can feel a lot of pressure to close a deal. If you haven’t prepared ahead of time and established your walk away point, you could easily find yourself caving under the pressure. Knowing your walk away terms is extremely important because negotiation isn’t just about getting the best deal, it’s also about figuring out whether it’s a good opportunity. Sometimes turning down a potential deal can save you a lot of money and frustration. The last thing you want is to agree to a deal you don’t really like. If you don’t establish a walk away point ahead of time, it’s easy to get lost in the emotion of the deal and you could end up breaking down due to the stress of a high-stakes negotiation. For this reason, you need to know when it’s time to cut your losses and move on. 

It Gives You Leverage

It is always advisable to establish your walk away point and be willing to do so if needed. Equally as important, the other party must know you’re comfortable walking away. Sometimes the most profitable deals are the ones that appear as though they will never close. If your counterpart gets any sense that you won’t really walk away, they are going to push harder and more aggressively to get you to reach an agreement. On the other hand, if they feel like you will walk away confidently, they might be more willing to concede. Knowing your walk away terms and actually committing to them can give you leverage at the bargaining table. 

You Can Develop Your BATNA

Negotiations don’t always go the way you plan and that’s just the reality of doing business. At the same time, however, this doesn’t necessarily mean that the terms of the negotiation have to be black and white. In addition to knowing their walk away point, successful negotiators also develop a BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) prior to entering into negotiations. This is a last ditch effort to save the negotiation before walking away entirely. Figuring out your BATNA  can be done by determining what terms are acceptable and knowing your limit. Having a range allows you a little bit of wiggle room before you have to walk away. It also reaffirms your decision to walk away if necessary. 

Knowing your walk away point can be one of the hardest decisions in a negotiation. However, it is not a decision to be considered later, in the heat of the negotiation. Determining your walk away terms before the negotiation is critical in order to reach a win-win agreement. This helps you stay on track and prevents you from making a deal that is unreasonable. There are several reasons why it might be beneficial to disengage, and determining your walk away terms gives you the resources to negotiate confidently and successfully.

Whether you are negotiating a higher salary, an agreement on a business deal, or bargaining over the price of a car, someone has to make the first offer. Should you be the first to speak up or should you wait and see what the other person has to offer? This decision is critical and can influence the outcome of the negotiation. Though it has been widely debated, you might be missing a huge opportunity if you allow the other party to make the first offer. Despite the common belief that waiting for an offer gives you valuable information about your counterpart’s bargaining position, there is strong evidence to suggest that there is actually more to gain by making the first move yourself. Here are a few reasons why you should make the first offer in a negotiation. 

The Anchoring Principle

The initial offer is usually the best predictor of the final outcome. It acts as a psychological “anchor” that creates a strong pull throughout the negotiation. Though this anchor is unconscious, it acts like a powerful gravitational force that pulls the other person in your direction. Research has found that human judgement is highly influenced by any relevant number that enters the negotiation. For this reason, first offers have a strong anchoring effect that the other party is often incapable of resisting. As a result, making the first offer gives you more control at the bargaining table. 

Waiting Could End Up Backfiring

The conventional advice about negotiating often says that you should never put the number on the table first or you should never show your hand first. However, many experienced negotiators find errors with this advice. If you simply wait and hope for the best, you might miss out on an opportunity to get more out of the deal. For example, if you are negotiating for a new job and the hiring manager begins to talk about salary, you might lose money if you let them make the first offer. They might lowball you, when in fact they would have considered a higher number if you had suggested it first. Having said that, be sure that your offer is substantiated through research rather than just throwing out a number. If you make the first offer and start higher than you expect to get, you can usually work down to a number that is reasonable for both parties and this may in fact be higher than you would have gotten if you waited. The bottom line is that waiting and hoping could end up backfiring, so be prepared and confident and make the first offer. 

You Appear More Confident

When you make the first offer, you immediately set the tone and establish yourself as confident and well-prepared. This gives you a strong bargaining position. Negotiators who wait, often come across as timid and easily swayed and this can be a disadvantage. The other party might act more aggressively to get you to concede. 

You Leave Room for Flexibility

The first offer is rarely the one that gets accepted and this is widely known. In just about every negotiation it is expected to have some give and take. When you make the first offer, however, you give yourself room for flexibility to make strategic concessions. Not only does this work in your favor to get what you want, but your counterpart is also more likely to be satisfied because they feel like you were willing to make concessions.

Every negotiation involves a little bit of give and take, but there are effective strategies to help you get the most out of the discussion. One of these strategies involves knowing your priorities. Many people struggle to reach their desired outcome because they don’t have a clear idea of what their priorities are. Without clear priorities, it’s difficult to know when and how to make concessions. The fact is, your ability to move a negotiation in the right direction often depends on what factors are most important to you. Once you have clearly defined priorities, you are able to make better decisions to guide the negotiation. 

You Identify Your Goals

When you enter into negotiations, knowing yourself is half the battle. If you don’t know exactly where you stand on certain issues, how can you possibly reach your goals? That’s why every negotiator should prioritize what is most important to them by making a list. That list of priorities allows you to go into the negotiation knowing which items you are willing to concede if need be. It also prevents you from giving up things that are most important to you. 

It Allows for Transparency

Prior to the negotiation, you should write down which items are most important to you and rank them in order of importance. You should also consider how much your counterpart values each item, as this can help you with bargaining. Sequential ranking helps you to achieve better results by leaving issues on the table. Transparency is critical so that both parties feel confident that the negotiation is focused on a specific agenda rather than random alternatives. Successful negotiators know their priorities and they leave little room for guesswork. 

You Know What to Concede

Successful negotiators understand that negotiation is a process by which there will inevitably be some give and take. They also know there are a number of concession dynamics that can often occur in a successful negotiation. That said, how and what you concede is a powerful combination that can either take you closer or further away from a deal. Therefore, it is essential to be prepared when this time comes by making a list of your priorities and ranking them according to importance. This makes it easier to know when and what you are willing to concede, and what to ask for in return. 

It Helps Identify Your Walk Away Point

Every successful negotiator has a point at which they absolutely must walk away. A written rank order of your priorities helps you identify at which point it’s time to commence the deal. Researching ahead of time and becoming aware of your priorities will prevent you from making a poor decision and caving too quickly.

The thought of sharing information with your counterpart during negotiations can seem a little risky-share too much and you might appear desperate to make a deal. You also risk giving away pertinent information that your counterpart could use against you. Many negotiators are fearful of sharing information because they worry it will hurt them in the process. Though it is wise to proceed with caution, sharing information can also be important in order to create the most valuable outcome. At the end of the day, information is a precious resource to any negotiation, and when used correctly, can help both parties achieve their goals. Let’s take a closer look at which information is safe to be shared and how negotiators can do so without regret at the bargaining table. 

It’s not always necessary to wait for the other party to offer up information first. In fact, there are advantages to sharing information first. Thanks to the power of reciprocity, sharing information can actually encourage your counterpart to come back with powerful information of their own. In general, you should feel comfortable sharing information about your interests as well as your priorities. Here are a few types of information you might encounter during negotiations:

Facts: You might need to share information about past experiences, events, goods, and services you have used. You might also include information about current obligations or liabilities. It is also acceptable to share information about parties needed to make decisions. 

Opinions and Values: This kind of information refers to how your company feels about a new product or service. This could also include what specific priorities are most important to your company and what will bring them the most value. 

Preferences: This information would include the needs, wants, and goals of your company as well as their bottom line and BATNA. 

Consider the information that would be helpful in accomplishing your goal without giving away concealing information. You do not need to share things like deadlines, your lowest price, or what issues are deal breakers. You should, however, make the other party aware of what your goals are and how you plan to address them. Furthermore, it is always acceptable to share information that is readily available such as financial statements, legal documents, and any other information that could be obtained from an internet search. In the end, the information shared should be used to devise a win-win solution for both parties and by sharing such information, you create a trusting professional relationship and a long-term opportunity for your company.

A negotiation is much like a couple that has decided to build their dream home. They both agree that they want the house, but they each have their own ideas and visions of how the home should be designed. In order to reach an agreement, they are going to have to listen to each other’s wants and ideas and find common ground that will be mutually beneficial for both of them. In much the same way, negotiations require a framework in order to focus on the solution by eliminating all of the unnecessary clutter. By organizing information in a way that helps your counterpart understand what’s on the table, they can then make a more informed decision on what solutions will best suit their needs. When it comes to framing your negotiation, the following strategies can be helpful for you and your business. 

Listen and Understand the Other Party’s Needs

When it comes to successful negotiations, it is far more advantageous to do more listening than talking. The best negotiators actively listen to the other side, understand their key issues and pain points, and then formulate an appropriate response. The more you listen, the more information you can gather about what is most important to your client and this can help you create a more effective framework. 

Offer Fewer Choices

Research has shown that people actually respond better to fewer choices so this is an important finding to keep in mind when framing a negotiation. At first glance, it may seem appealing to have numerous options available, but in reality, consumers can become so overwhelmed by too many options that they cannot make a decision. When framing a negotiation, keep in mind that while your counterpart may want to see a few choices, they may get overwhelmed by too many.

Stress Gains Rather Than Losses

Imagine you are a manager and one of your employees has requested a pay raise to increase their salary from $100,000 to $150,000. Suppose you cannot pay the full $150,000 but you are willing to pay them $120,000. By suggesting that you can increase their current salary by $20,000, you are more likely to appeal to the employee than if you made the some offer of $120,000 but framed it as a $30,000 decrease from their request of $150,000. Stressing what the other party will gain rather than lose is an important technique in framing a negotiation the right way. 

Present Several Offers

If you have prepared only one offer for your negotiation, you are going into the negotiation with an enormous amount of pressure to seal the deal. After all, everything is riding on this one offer. If the offer doesn’t suit the other party, the negotiation is deadlocked. Now, try presenting two or three equivalent packages with various terms. For example, you might offer a $1 million package with a payment in 30 days, a $1.5 million package with payment in 120 days, or a $1.3 million package with payment in 45 days. By presenting different offers, you are able to discover what priorities are more important to your client. In addition, one package might begin to look like a bargain when it’s next to another package. Known as the contrast effect, placing two offers next to each other can sometimes make one look far more appealing. This is a strategic move in framing a negotiation.

Handling negotiations with clients and customers is no easy task, but active listening is a negotiator’s secret weapon. In order to be a successful negotiator, one must master the art of listening. When most of us think about negotiating, we often think of negotiators as persuasive talkers. However, the best negotiators are those that take a different approach: they listen more than they talk. Negotiations are about finding a balance between the needs of two parties and this is not possible without hearing the other party’s side. Active listening involves acknowledging the other person, inquiring about their needs, and restating what they say. In doing so, the negotiator will find that they are more engaged with their client and they are more likely to strike a deal. Here are just a few of the reasons why negotiators need to spend more time listening and less time talking. 

1) Listening Helps You Identify Their Needs

Listening is an invaluable skill in ensuring a successful negotiation. In some ways, in fact, it is more important than talking. That’s because a successful negotiation requires an exchange of information from both parties and listening helps you to learn more about the specific needs of your counterpart. Many communication problems in negotiations are the result of poor listening skills, so you must be attentive and objective in order to gather as much information as possible. You can’t expect the other person to give up all of their information and show all their cards right up front, so it’s critical that you ask questions throughout the negotiation and listen carefully to obtain as much useful information as possible. 

2) Listening Helps You Devise a Strategy

In order for any negotiation to be effective, you must have something of value to offer the other party. That’s why it is critical that you find out what they value most. It would do you no good, for example, to spend an hour talking about price when all the other party really cares about is a quick turnaround. 

3) Listening Can Help Shift Tensions

It is inevitable that some negotiations can end up getting tense and effective active listening can help shift tensions and enhance progress in an otherwise deadlock situation. It signals to the other person that you are putting your need and agenda aside and taking additional time to consider their perspective. 

4) Listening Demonstrates That You Value Their Opinion

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you agree, but listening shows the other person that you value their opinion and you care about their point of view. Be sincere when you are listening to show your client that you genuinely care about what they have to say. This makes the other person feel justified and validated. 

5) Listening Builds Trust and Rapport

When you allow your potential client to talk about their own needs, wants, and feelings, it encourages a positive relationship. Active listening is an important skill that builds rapport, understanding, and trust. Listening helps to build lasting professional relationships that can lead to long-term negotiation success. 

There are plenty of strategies and tools to use when negotiating, but perhaps none are as effective as time. Time is a unique tool that can be used to move a stalled negotiation forward in order to help you achieve your desired outcome. Do keep in mind, however, that time is a tool that works for both sides so you should never forget it’s power. When used correctly, time pressure can lead to remarkable outcomes for negotiators, so here are a few ways you can use timing to your advantage. 

1. Figure Out the Right Time to Make a Deal

Unless you are forced to make a decision right away due to an urgent business need, you can wait for the right time to step in and negotiate a deal. It’s a proven fact that there are certain times when better deals can be made. Think about buying a car for example. Oftentimes you can get a better deal at the end of the month because the salesmen need to hit their quota and the dealerships need to sell a certain number of cars. The same is true for real estate. Buyers are more likely to negotiate during the winter months when housing sales are slower than in the peak of spring. When you are negotiating a business deal, some companies might be more willing to negotiate closer to the end of the quarter or the fiscal year when they are more motivated to close the deal. Therefore, consider your timing and choose a time that is most advantageous for you. 

2. Never Let the Negotiations Drag On

Negotiations are most effective when they happen over a short period of time. The longer the other party has to think about the deal, the more time they have to “shop around” for something better. The key is to leverage the amount of time the customer has to make a decision. For example, let them know that you are willing to offer a special price but you can only honor it for today. Otherwise, you will have to sell it to someone else. This time pressure strategy is an effective technique for getting the other party to close the deal.

3. Choose the Right Time to Offer Concessions

Ideally, the initial stages of the negotiation should be spent learning about the other’s needs and trying to uncover what is motivating them. This gives you an idea of what to use as a bargaining tool. For example, if you know the other party is highly motivated by price, you know you have to be prepared to offer your best deal. The key, however, is knowing when to do it. Offering the lowest price right off the bat will make it look like you are willing to concede easily and they might push for other concessions as well. Therefore, wait until you are just about to close the deal and come in with that last ‘punch’ right at the end offering your best price. Even though you knew all along you could offer that price, that last minute price change makes your customer feel as though they are getting a deal. 

4. Strategically Plan the Time of the Negotiation

Imagine you are working on a large sale and you have to meet with the head of the factory. You schedule your meeting at 9:00 a.m. and the boss spends several hours haggling with you and refuses to back down. Now, imagine you had this same negatition scheduled at 4:00 in the afternoon. There’s a good chance that the boss will move things much faster because he is anxious to wrap up and head home for the day. When you enter into the negotiation, let your counterpart know that you have a limited amount of time with them before your next meeting. This can help speed things along and puts a little pressure on them to move forward. 

Timing can greatly impact the outcome of a negotiation. When you negotiate can have a significant effect on the proceedings of the negotiation and can affect how alert people are, how interested they are, and how much pressure they feel to make a decision. You also need to choose the right time to make an offer or counteroffer as well as agree to concessions. There might even be instances where you need to call a time-out in order to decrease tensions or shift the momentum. In order to negotiate effectively, timing and preparation are key. Here are a few things negotiators should consider when it comes to timing. 

Is it the right time to make a deal?

Unless you are in a position when you have to make a deal due to an urgent personal or business need, you might consider different options for when to negotiate. For example, negotiating the price of a car may be more advantageous toward the end of the month when the salesman is eager to meet their quota. Likewise, companies might be more inclined to make a sizable deal at the end of the quarter. You should also consider how your product or service might be affected by the time of year. For instance, you could probably negotiate a better deal on a boat in October as opposed to May. Before entering into a negotiation, stop and think about whether or not this is the right time to negotiate the best deal. 

The time of day and day of the week matters. 

Consider the day and time when you schedule a negotiation. Late morning is an ideal time for negotiation because most people are fully awake and their day is in full swing. The closer you get to noon, the more likely people will be hungry and thinking about food as opposed to your offer. Likewise, late afternoon can be difficult because people are tired from the day and ready to go home. Much like the time of day, people can also be affected by the day of the week. Mondays can be tricky because people are trying to get back in the swing of things and they are figuring out the week ahead. Tuesdays are one of the best days because the week is well underway but people aren’t yet distracted by the weekend. Friday afternoons are perhaps the worst time to negotiate because people are working hard to wrap up the week and begin their weekend. Obviously, negotiations can also be affected during holidays or special events.

Who has the power as time passes?

Before entering into a negotiation it is important to consider how time will impact your power and ability to leverage a deal. As time passes, is your power increasing or decreasing? For example, someone who puts their house on the market is likely to be more demanding at the beginning and more flexible as time goes on. If you are in a situation where your power is expected to decrease over time, it can be to your advantage to negotiate a long-term agreement while you should negotiate a short-term agreement if your power is expected to increase as time passes.